


Of Bee Hairpins and Sunflowers

by orphan_account



Series: Femlock Bingo [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Distance, F/F, Fem!John - Freeform, Fem!Sherlock, Femlock, Fluff, Genderbending, Genderswap, Insecure Sherlock, John travels, Love Letters, Maybe a bit, Sherlock Misses John, Unilock, not really angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has to go to the US for 2 months. In John's time away Sherlock and John exchange letters. </p><p> </p><p>This is for the Femlock Bingo Challenge. Prompt: Love Letters</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Bee Hairpins and Sunflowers

‘No John! Unacceptable!’ Sherlock hissed and paced around their flat. John stood at the kitchen counter looking a bit lost.

‘Sherlock, I don’t like it either but I have to do it if I want to pass this course. I need to do it.’ John willed her to understand. She understood why her girlfriend was upset, hell, John was upset about it but there wasn’t really a choice. And it was only for 8 weeks. It sounded long but it will pass fast.

Sherlock turned towards her and looked lost and sad. John sighed. She hated seeing Sherlock like this. She walked towards her beautiful girlfriend, cupped her face and looked deep into those magical blue/green/grey eyes. ‘Sherlock, I love you and I don’t want to leave, really I don’t but I have to pass this course in order to become a doctor. Time will go by quickly okay? And we will talk, write and skype everyday. Promise.’

A quick pause and John could see multiple emotions running through those eyes. Distress, confusion, uncertainty, love.

‘John…’ John hugged her tight and they stood there for a while not moving, only being close and taking comfort in each other's presence.

~

A couple of weeks ago her professor talked to her and told John that she had to do an internship at Harvard University in spring. John had been very excited when she heard the news but then of course she had to think of Sherlock. She would have to leave Sherlock behind since Sherlock had to study and couldn’t come with her. It was a horrible situation. She didn’t want to leave Sherlock behind and she knew that she would miss Sherlock terribly. And Sherlock would miss her but this was a one lifetime opportunity and she, of course, took the internship at Harvard. Sherlock, of course. wasn’t thrilled but she understood.

And now they were sleeping together in their bed. John spooning Sherlock who was sleeping soundly. John couldn’t sleep. She didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to feel Sherlock’s body against her skin, she wanted to smell her hair and feel the tickle of those soft curls against her face. She wanted to remember this.

Streetlight came through their window and threw shadows everywhere. It was quite and John loved it. It seemed like the whole city was sleeping except her. But she didn’t feel alone. There was a lovely woman next to her who she loved over everything.

‘Oh Sherlock,’ John started to whisper, ‘I’m so afraid. What if this is a big mistake? What if the internship is boring and horrible? What if something happens to you and I’m not here?’ John sighed and snuggled even closer against Sherlock, ‘What if I destroy what we have just by being gone?’

There was no answer.

~

The next morning John was really, really tired. Luckily her plane to the US went at noon so she still had a wonderful morning without feeling stressed. Currently she and Sherlock were eating breakfast. Their legs were intertwined and comfortable silence settled around them.

‘John?’ Sherlock asked after a couple of minutes.

‘Hmm?’

Sherlock was taking a bite from her toast and chewed for a moment. She looked down at her plate and seemed uncomfortable but John couldn’t identify why.

‘Nothing. Not important.’ John lowered her mug and looked at Sherlock. There was something on that brilliant mind.

‘What is it?’ John reached over the table and laid her hands on top of Sherlock’s, ‘Sherlock, please tell me.’

John noticed Sherlock’s knuckles have gone white by gripping her knife and that Sherlock has her mask back on again. The mask that hid all her feelings and protected that sensitive soul from all evil. John hadn’t seen it directed to her in a long time. John’s heart sank, she has no idea what Sherlock will say.

‘I just,’ deep breath, ‘I just wanted to say that I fully understand if you temporarily want to end our relationship, so you can find someone else while you’re gone.’

John had anticipated everything but definitely not this. _Definitely not this_.

‘Sherlock no.’ John stands up, walks towards Sherlock and kneels beside her. ‘Whats gone into that head of yours? Why would you think that?’

‘I just- I don’t know John. I’ve never done this. A relationship and I don’t know what to do while you’re gone or what you want.’

She softly takes Sherlock’s head into her hands and looks deep into those eyes and wills Sherlock to understand.

‘You are my home, you are my love and I always want to be with you and there is nothing in this world that would make me want to break up with you. You are my anchor and I have loved you for such a long time I wouldn’t give you up for anything. Sherlock, I love you and only you.’ John pressed a kiss to Sherlock’s forehead, ‘So get rid of those thoughts. You are my Sherlock.’

Slender hands reached her back and John was pressed towards Sherlock’s chest. ‘I love you to John. So much.’

They spend the whole morning cuddling and reassuring each other about their love. They had soft and wonderful sex full of love and adoration. John kissed Sherlock everywhere from her toes to her tummy to her mouth. She wanted Sherlock to feel loved. It was beautiful and nothing John ever experienced.  
When it was time to say goodbye John tried everything not to cry. She played it down but her eyes did got teary and it took everything in her not to shred a single one. Sherlock did the same.

~  
Sherlock 16:05  
John I know you are still on the plane but I already miss you

Sherlock 16:56  
I wonder if you are comfortable. Sometimes those flights can be good are the most horrible 6 hours of our life if you sit next to the wrong person

Sherlock 17:38  
You are over the Atlantic right now. Please be safe

Sherlock 18:17  
My experiment is boring and everyone on the TV is stupid

Sherlock 19:21  
Mrs. Hudson brought me food and wanted to talk to me.

Sherlock 20:22  
You should land in an hour

Sherlock 21:15  
Are you there yet John?

Sherlock 21:18  
John you will be jetlagged! In order to get over it quickly you should stay awake at least till 7 pm. Go out and explore the city that will keep you up

Sherlock 21:19  
Don’t forget that the time changed

Sherlock 21:22  
Apparently your plane just landed.

Sherlock 21: 24  
John?

John 21:25  
Hey Sherlock! I’m fine and everything went well. I’m still in the airplane and feel really disgusting. I don’t know but these long plane flights make me feel horrible. How are you, love?

Sherlock 21:25  
I’m fine John. Just missing you.

~

Dear Sherlock,

It’s been 2 days since I saw you the last time at the airport. I know we just spoke three hours ago just before you went to bed but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about your smile, smell and just you. I miss you so terribly it feels like I’m bursting. I’m writing this letter to you in hope, that I can in some way, tell you how much you mean to me. I miss you sleeping next to me, I miss how you look in the morning, I miss your hair and your clothes.  
I hope that you are fine and have something to do when you read this letter. Are you doing an experiment? Are you meeting Lestrade for a case? Please don’t forgot to eat and to drink Sherlock! I worry about you!  
I met someone today who I think you would have liked. Her name is Victoria and she is also studying Chemistry here at Harvard. She seems very smart and I think you would have liked her.  
Today, my first day, I walked around campus and looked at some cafes. I wish I could take you in some! I just had to think of us both sitting there, drinking tea and laughing. Just like we always do. When I’m back we will definitely go to a cafe together, yeah? They also played a song that reminded me of you. In fact everything reminds me of you.  
I included some pictures from campus for you. I hope you like them.

Don’t forget that I love and miss you terribly. Only 54 more days till I’m back in your arms.

Love John  
~

John 23:18  
Sherlock I feel like I made the worst decision in my life. I miss you so terribly. It’s not the same. I mean we talk but I want to touch you. I want to hug you and pull you close. Every song, smell and event reminds me of you and I just. God I messed everything up. The classes and the experience is great and I’m glad that I’m learning this much but…  
You know I’m not good at making friends. Everyone is nice here but I still feel lonely. It’s different. You are different. I’m so sorry Sherlock.

[Unsent]  
~

Dear John,

I was deeply pleased when I read your letter. In fact I was surprised! We talk so much over the phone and over skype that I didn’t expect a letter from you. But it’s nice to hold something in my hands that comes from you.  
I also miss you terribly. Everything is so dull without you John. And the skull is no help. Mrs. Hudson of course takes good care of me but you are just missing. There is hole, a open place where you should be and it’s driving me mad.  
I hope that your studies are successful and that you are learning a lot. John, I just know that one day you will be a wonderful doctor.  
I would love to go to a cafe with you once you are back. In fact I am writing a list with everything that we have to do when your are back. Right now I wrote down 12 things. It’s just while you are gone I notice so many things that I want to so with you and my heart aches because I can’t do them right this moment but that I have to wait till you are back.  
John, I miss touching you.  
I also loved the pictures you send me. They are beautiful and it looks like a beautiful campus. I included some pressed flowers into the envelope. I hope that they don’t get damaged too much and that you receive them in a good condition.

Please come home soon. I know it’s only 41 more days but it’s still too long.

Sherlock

~  
A room full of darkness,  
Branches screaming in the wind,  
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’,  
Why?

A warm embrace,  
A whisper of comfort,  
A lifetime of love,  
That’s what I want ,  
For you

I only noticed and saw,  
What real magic was,  
When I looked into your eyes.

And now it’s all gone

_A poem written by John at 3 in the morning_

~

Dear Sherlock,

I’m glad you liked my letter and I am also happy to hear back from you. I’m sorry it took me longer to answer to this one but I was gone the whole day and was to tired to do anything when I got home.  
I miss you too. I always turn around because I expect you to be there but then you aren’t. It’s horrible. Sherlock, I never felt so lonely in my life. I should have never taken this internship.  
You are writing a list with things that we should do? I think I might do the same.  
I saw bee hairpins yesterday in a little shop in downtown. They are small but have the most beautiful bees on them. I bought you a dozen. I hope you like them because I think they would look beautiful in your hair. Oh Sherlock. I will include them in this letter.  
The flowers got here without any damage. I put them on my wall and they make me smile everytime I see them.

I’m sorry this is so short but I’m just so tired. Only 29 more days till I see you again.  
John

~  
Sherlock 17:36  
What are your favorite flowers?

John 18:12  
I don’t really know. I think every flower is pretty. Why are you asking?

Sherlock 18:13  
It’s for an experiment John. If you think about a flower which is the first one you think about?

John 18:15  
I think it might be sunflowers. I love their bright color.

John 18:16  
Sherlock please don’t get hurt while I’m gone. What are you planning to do with flowers?

Sherlock 18:20  
Don’t worry John. Thank you for the answer it was very helpful

John 18:21  
But why did you need to know

John 18:22  
?

John 18:25  
Sherlock?  
~  
Dear John,  
I think I’m driving Mrs. Hudson mad. I accidently forgot about one of my experiments and it smells very unpleasant now. She send me away for a day so she can clean up.  
Mrs. Hudson is taking good care of me but of course not as good as you do.  
I’m eating a lot of biscuits and sweets. I know you would disapprove but while you're away I can eat as many sweets as I want.  
I helped Lestrade with a case just a couple of days ago. It wasn’t very interesting so I won’t write about it in here. But I missed you there again.  
I’m really bored John. University is boring, experiments are boring, cases are boring. Maybe I’ll go and annoy Mycroft.  
I have 37 things on the list now and I can’t wait to do them all as soon as you are back.  
John, please come back soon. I miss you.

Sherlock  
~  
Sherlock 17:36  
When are you landing?

John 17:38  
At around 9:30 on Saturday. Will you be there or should I take a cab?

Sherlock 17:39  
Don’t be ridiculous John. I will pick you up

John 17: 40  
Hahah right ;) I can’t wait till I see you again.

Sherlock 17:41  
Me neither. I will be waiting.

~  
Dear Sherlock,

This will be the last letter that I write to you. I will see you in less than 1 week and I can’t wait. You can’t imagine how much I am aching to touch you, to kiss you, to love you. 7 days. Only 7 days. I feel like this last week is the longest of my life. But if there is one thing that I learned while I was away is that I appreciate and love you more than I knew. What do people say, ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’? I remember again what you mean to me and how much life you give to me. I will always be thankful for what I have.  
I love you with everything that I am. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will promise you that I won’t ever let you down again and that I will be there for you because I know now how it feels to live without you and it’s horrible.

With all my love  
John

~  
Come on! How was it possible that it takes this long just to get a bag?  
John was stepping from one leg to another and was restless. She was finally back in Britain and only 50 meters away from Sherlock, separated only by a glass door. She hadn’t seen Sherlock in two fucking months and she couldn’t wait any second longer to see her.

And here she was standing waiting for her bag! One buy one different sized bags were rolling down the baggage belt. One after the other, people were grabbing their luggage and went towards the exit.

Finally she saw a black bag with yellow stripes at the side fall down. She quickly walked towards the bag, hoping it was hers. It was. She grabbed it and ran towards the exit.

Sherlock.

The slide doors opened and first she didn’t know where to look. People were standing everywhere and she couldn’t see Sherlock but then she heard someone call her name. John turned to her left and saw Sherlock standing there at the side. She had a dress on which looked really amazing on her and her hair was pinned back with the bee hairpins! And she had a bouquet of sunflowers in her hands. She looked perfect. John ran towards Sherlock and just before she reached her she let go of her bag, then hugged Sherlock fiercely against her chest and for the first time in weeks she finally felt home.

‘Oh god Sherlock. I missed you so much. So, so much.’ John whispered into her ear. Sherlock didn’t answer but just stood there together. John with her head against Sherlock’s chest both her arms around that thin body. Sherlock with one arm around John’s back the other falling by her side with flowers in her hand.

John only now noticed that Sherlock was crying. John’s blues was starting to feel wet and Sherlock was trembling in John’s arms. John pulled back a bit from Sherlock’s embrace and looked at that lovely face which she could finally touch again. Sherlock’s eyes were bit puffy and red and there were tear tracks running down her cheek. She, embarrassed, looked away from John.

‘I’m sorry John.’

John slowly wiped away the new tears that were falling down Sherlock’s eyes and John never felt more terrible in her life.

‘Love don’t be sorry. Please don’t be sorry.’ And John slowly raised her feet and tenderly kissed Sherlock with all the love she has, trying to tell her that it’s fine and that she also missed Sherlock as much as Sherlock missed John. Sherlock kissed back with all the passion she has and John was so grateful to finally be able to kiss those beautiful lips again. Those soft tender lips. It made her heart burst and she couldn’t decide if this kiss was more emotional than their first one. And then she also started to cry. She felt hot teardrops falling down her cheeks. She tasted salt water while kissing Sherlock.  
And then she laughed. She laughed like she never laughed before. She laughed because she has never felt this happy and in love, she laughed because she was home again and she laughed because she was the most stupid person ever.

And then Sherlock started to giggle and, god, did she miss that giggle. John felt whole again and they were both a mess.

After John calmed down she looked back into Sherlock's eyes. ‘You’re wearing the headpins that I gave you.’

‘Yes.’ John reached up and gently touched Sherlock’s hair. The bee pins looked lovely in those dark and full curls just like she imagined. Sherlock raised her arm with the sunflowers and shyly gave them John. ‘I got you these. And you said that you like sunflowers and well… I thought you would like them.’ John took the flowers from Sherlock and if it was possible smiled even more than bevor.

‘Thank you Sherlock. They are beautiful.’ The airport was buzzing with people coming and going. There were tears and smiles. People going on holiday, people going on business trips. People from all over the world with different cultures, identities and lives. And they stood there in the middle of the crowd looking into each other eyes, standing as close as possible and taking comfort that they were whole again. A small and muscular blonde with sunflowers in her hand and a tall and slim brunette with bee pins in her hair. And if you ask me I would say that they were the couple that loved each other most in the whole world.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know if I got the pace in this one right. Did I go to fast or to slow? 
> 
> Thank you for reading
> 
> My Tumblr: [johnlockandstars](http://johnlockandstars.tumblr.com)


End file.
